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1.
The 3 stages
of man:
He
believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.
2.
Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
3. Why
does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A.
Because every buck is dear to him.
4.
What was
wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A.
Forty feet of track - all straight!
5.
All the young turkeys went to a Christmas dance
... they danced chick to chick!
6. Why
do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year?
A. They are so good that they'll stick their necks out for anyone.
7. What
do you call a cat at the beach near Christmas?
A.
Sandy Claus
8.
What do elves learn at school?
A.
The elf-abet
9.
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,
"What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offence", said the judge.
" It is if you do it before the shop opened", countered the prisoner.
10.
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Hanna.
Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree.
11.
What do you call Santa with no
money?
A. St. Nickel-less
12. Why
was Santa's little helper depressed?
A. Because he had low elf esteem.
13.
Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil!
What should I do?
A.
Use a pen.
14. What
do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A.
Tinsilitis
15. Why
does Santa have 3 gardens?
A. So he can ho-ho-ho.
16. What
do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
17. Why
did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A.
He wanted to sleep like a log.
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